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Tole Friends
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Program Guidelines
The following guidelines are meant to give you the benefit
of our experience. We have few "guidelines" as we
feel it is important the boxes come from your heart. We will
not give you a lot of "do's" and "don'ts".
However, there are some things we have learned along the way
which may be helpful in creating a box that will last as a family
heirloom.
- First and most important is this: Create a box that you
would like to receive if you were in the family's situation.
You do not have to be the best painter, collager, stamper,
or artist. You just have to create a box from your heart.
If it is something you would want to receive, then there will
be a family suffering a loss who would also appreciate it.
- As a basic guideline, the boxes should be approximately
7" to 12". There are uses for boxes as small as
7", and as large as 24". ALL sizes of boxes are
needed!
They should be at least 3" deep, but may be deeper. They
can be in any shape. Large stars, ovals and octagonal boxes,
as well as traditional square and round boxes have been used
in the program.
Some hospitals request that we not use rectangular boxes as
they are reminiscent of coffins. The boxes are meant as an
affirmation of the life of the child, so the hospitals prefer
not to have a symbol of death given to the family.
However, if rectangular boxes are what you have, go ahead
and use them as there are some hospitals who do not mind using
this shape. Please, do not paint flowers on the rectangular
boxes because it will give them the look of a coffin.
The boxes will typically be used to hold the birth certificate,
clothing, footprint and hand print, photographs, etc. but
some of the boxes are used for SIDS babies or babies with
birth defects who have lived for several weeks, so all size
boxes are needed!
- It is not necessary to be a member of the Memory Box online
mailing list to participate, but you must coordinate your
boxes through our system so that we can make sure the hospitals
are getting the correct number of boxes!
One of our challenges is when people do not tell us they have
delivered a box; we may assign someone else to send boxes
to the same hospital. As a result, one hospital may get more
boxes than it needs while another goes without boxes. You
are welcome to invite others to work with you or to involve
your local moms group, church, painting chapter, art guild,
etc.!
- Because the boxes are usually mailed to the hospital, we
suggest paper mache boxes as they weigh less and cost less
to ship. Please be sure to seal and varnish the boxes as the
families will keep them for a long time; apply a little wax
to the inside rim of the lid, this will make sure that the
lid does not stick to the bottom and makes opening the box
difficult.. Paper mache is a wonderful surface which will
last a lifetime or more!
- Appropriate subjects are flowers, sun, moon and stars,
animals, teddy bears, angels, children's toys, dolls, rosemaling
or other scrollwork. You can paint, collage, decoupage, stamp,
and decorate the box in any way you feel is appropriate.
Some social workers have stated to avoid religious or holiday
themes as the parents come from different cultures and religious
backgrounds, but most said angels were okay.
- Do not glue lace, paper doilies, or other materials that
are likely to come off in time. Many families will keep these
boxes for generations and they are handled a lot. Collages
work well, but try to avoid things that would easily catch
or rip off the boxes when handled.
- Be sure to finish the inside of the box by painting it,
lining it with fabric, or using a product like "Soft
Flock". Varnishing the inside of the box will also help
protect the papers and cloth from deteriorating from the acid
in the paper.
If you would like to include a saying
or poem in the box, please click
on the links. Any saying can be used, as long as it is appropriate
to the situation. The sayings on this site are examples of
what would be appropriate, and you are free to use them, if
desired.
Be sure to sign your box. This is a work of art to the family
who receives it. If you wish, you may include the program
web address and/or your email address, so the family can
contact you. This also gives the family a way to learn about
the program. We have provided examples of enclosures
you can use in your boxes here.
Once the box or boxes are completed and ready to mail, please
register with
our online system (linkwill open in a new window), please
check out our tutorial for more
details. Please activate your account and send the required
email to our administration in order to allow us to fully
install your account. Once you have received an email from
our administration confirming the installation of your account
and you have boxes to send, please
log into the system each time new boxes are ready to be
mailed and notify us by filling in the blanks in the form.
Please check out the detailed
tutorials for Chapters/Guilds/Painting Groups and individual
Painters both will open as .pdf files. The program chair will
send you an email with the name and address of the hospital
or hospitals where you are to send the boxes.
Each time you are ready to mail boxes, please log
into our system in order to complete the form and submit
it. Do not just mail boxes to the same hospital you mailed
to last time!! We need to track how many boxes go to each
hospital because some only need two or three a month, while
others need a dozen. We will try to connect you with the closest
hospital to your location each time you are ready to mail
boxes.
Thank you for your support and help!
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Hosted by
CDT
(Sponsor of the Memory Box website)
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