This
program allows artists and crafters to use their creativity to benefit others
by creating hand-crafted Memory Boxes to be given by hospital bereavement counselors
and nurses to the families of newborn infants who die in the hospital or are
stillborn. The program's sole purpose is to connect artists with hospitals in
need of boxes. At no time do the artists send us a box! We simply act as the
administrative "go between". We contact and follow up with hospitals
to be sure that they have an active bereavement program, and that someone at
the hospital will take responsibility for the boxes.
We do not wish to be given "credit" for the boxes. The only reason we exist is to make sure qualified hospitals are connected with individuals and groups that wish to create boxes for them, and to make sure that the boxes go to bereavement counselors that will take responsibility that the boxes get to the families they are created for. We track the number of boxes going to each hospital each month so that no one hospital is bombarded with boxes while others do not have any. Each time a new box is ready, the coordinator is contacted, the member generally does not continue to send to the same hospital.
How it all started . . .
In early 1997, Rosemary Armesto sent a message to the ToleNet email mailing list (now defunct) that changed many lives. Rosemary told us of a one-time project to paint memory boxes for families that lost infant children. In April of 1998, another list member (who asked not to be credited) came to artist Tera Leigh, ToleNet's then Owner, and asked if ToleNet would help publicize this program on an International basis. This list member's sister-in-law had lost a child just a week before term. She remembered Rosemary's message and painted a memory box for her sister-in-law. She related a story much like Rosemary wrote of. She was profoundly affected by the reaction of her sister-in-law and the hospital staff.
Tera began some research and
learned that few hospitals have true infant bereavement programs. She learned
about the difficulties for both the families and the nursing staff in coping
with these tragic deaths. When Tera asked her mother, Marie Gemmil, to help and they began to call hospitals to find out if they
had a program the reaction astounded us. Nearly every person we talked to began
to cry when we told them we wanted to help! We heard horror stories from nurses
who had to scrounge to wash a dirty bag in order to have something to give families
the child's birth and death certificate, wrist band, footprints, etc.
We heard from women running support groups about the challenges of coping with such a loss. The thing that we heard over and over was that no one wanted to talk about it. It was too difficult, no one knew what to say. What the families craved most was to be able to talk about the child that they'd lost. Instead they heard, "it was for the best", or "you'll have another one". These boxes are a small way that we can help acknowledge the importance of the life these women carried inside of them. Through our art, we can create a keepsake box that the family may keep for generations. At the least, it will be a treasured memento of a brief life to a family who has few mementos of a too-brief life. We think that this is a very worthy project and are proud to be a part of it.
Since
our launch in June, 1998 at the National Society of Decorative Painters convention,
the Memory Box Artist Program has shipped over 100,005 boxes to hospitals around
the world. We currently need 2474 boxes per month to support the
hospitals in our program. We have 681 hospitals in US, (Including Alaska
and Hawaii) Canada, Germany, Italy, New Zealand, Australia, and England that
we have either sent or promised boxes. (To give you an idea of the need, there
are over 500 hospitals in California alone, so we are truly in the beginning
of our journey to meet the needs of these hospitals.)
We currently have a waiting list of hospitals that wish to be added to the program. We add new hospitals as we have new participants to help us meet the need. Generally, about 150 individuals and groups provide boxes for us each month, and that list changes from month to month as participants have time to create boxes. Some participants create boxes every month, others once a year, and some create a few boxes only once. As a result, we work hard to spread the word about the program as we constantly need new participants to create the boxes we need to send out to hospitals in the program. It is an ongoing cycle for us.
Tera and Marie Gemmil (Tera's mother and cofounder of the program) identify hospitals with quality infant bereavement programs to guarantee that the boxes go for the purpose for which they were created. The people who run these programs are fiercely dedicated to helping families through the devastation of losing a child. If you know of a hospital has an infant bereavement program in place and would be interested in receiving boxes, please contact Marie with the name, address and phone number of the hospital, and the name of the contact person for the bereavement program. We currently have a waiting list for hospitals to join the program.
Memory Box artists do not have to be members of the mailing list,to participate in the program. Many artists, such as Jamie Mills-Price, Susie Wolfe,CDA, Phyllis Tilford, CDA, Lina Hoffman, Karen Chase, and Tera Leigh have donated free patterns.
To participate in the program, read the information on the participation page. Even if you only create one box, you will be helping! We have many teachers who donate a class time to get their students to paint for us, etc. as a one time event. We are grateful for every box we can get to a hospital!
Once you have completed a box (or group of boxes - often it is the same price to mail 3 boxes as one), contact Marie to be given the name, address and contact information for the hospital/hospitals to send it to. You DO NOT SEND THE BOXES TO US. We never physically handle a box for the program. We are simply facilitators so that artists and hospitals can connect directly with one another to meet the need in the most efficient way possible.
Hospitals interested in being added to our current waiting list should contact Marie for information.
Information About Infant Bereavement and Loss