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Program History
 This
program allows artists and crafters to use their creativity
to benefit others by creating hand-crafted Memory Boxes to be
given by hospital bereavement counselors and nurses to the families
of newborn infants who die in the hospital or are stillborn.
The program's sole purpose is to connect artists with hospitals
in need of boxes. At no time do the artists send us a box! We
simply act as the administrative "go between". We
contact and follow up with hospitals to be sure that they have
an active bereavement program, and that someone at the hospital
will take responsibility for the boxes.
We do not wish to be given "credit" for the boxes.
The only reason we exist is to make sure qualified hospitals
are connected with individuals and groups that wish to create
boxes for them, and to make sure that the boxes go to bereavement
counselors that will take responsibility that the boxes get
to the families they are created for. We track the number of
boxes going to each hospital each month so that no one hospital
is bombarded with boxes while others do not have any. Each time
a new box is ready, the coordinator is contacted, and the member
generally does not continue to send to the same hospital.
How it all started . . .
In early 1997, Rosemary Armesto sent a message
to the ToleNet email mailing list (now defunct) that changed
many lives. Rosemary told us of a one-time project to paint
memory boxes for families that lost infant children. In April
of 1998, another list member (who asked not to be credited)
came to artist Tera
Leigh, at that time ToleNet's Owner, and asked if ToleNet
would help publicize this program on an International basis.
This list member's sister-in-law had lost a child just a week
before term. She remembered Rosemary's message and painted a
memory box for her sister-in-law. She related a story much like
Rosemary wrote of. She was profoundly affected by the reaction
of her sister-in-law and the hospital staff.
 Tera
began some research and learned that few hospitals have true
infant bereavement programs. She learned about the difficulties
for both the families and the nursing staff in coping with these
tragic deaths. When Tera asked her mother, Marie Gemmil, to
help and they began to call hospitals to find out if they had
a program the reaction astounded us. Nearly every person we
talked to began to cry when we told them we wanted to help!
We heard horror stories from nurses who had to scrounge to wash
a dirty bag in order to have something to give families the
child's birth and death certificate, wrist band, footprints,
etc.
We heard from women running support groups about the challenges
of coping with such a loss. The thing that we heard over and
over was that no one wanted to talk about it. It was too difficult;
no one knew what to say. What the families craved most was to
be able to talk about the child that they'd lost. Instead they
heard, "it was for the best", or "you'll have
another one". These boxes are a small way that we can help
acknowledge the importance of the life these women carried inside
of them. Through our art, we can create a keepsake box that
the family may keep for generations. At the least, it will be
a treasured memento of a brief life to a family who has few
mementos of a too-brief life. We think that this is a very worthy
project and are proud to be a part of it.
 Since
our launch in June, 1998 at the National Society of Decorative
Painters convention, the Memory Box Artist Program has shipped
over 113,700 boxes to hospitals around the world. We currently
need in excess of 2,000 boxes per month to support the
hospitals in our program. We have 386 hospitals in US, (Including
Alaska and Hawaii) Canada, Germany, Italy, New Zealand, Australia,
and England that we have either sent or promised boxes. (To
give you an idea of the need, there are over 500 hospitals in
California alone, so we are truly in the beginning of our journey
to meet the needs of these hospitals.)
After 10 ½ years of running a very successful program,
Tera and Marie decided it was time to retire. In January 2009
the Memory Box Program was transferred to Tole Friends Association
which is an online decorative painting community. Tole Friends
is honored and dedicated to be able to continue the Memory Box
program.
We currently have a waiting list of hospitals that wish to
be added to the program. We add new hospitals as we have new
participants to help us meet the need. Generally, about 150
individuals and groups provide boxes for us each month, and
that list changes from month to month as participants have time
to create boxes. Some participants create boxes every month,
others once a year and some create a few boxes only once. As
a result, we work hard to spread the word about the program
as we constantly need new participants to create the boxes we
need to send out to hospitals in the program. It is an ongoing
cycle for us.
Tera and Marie Gemmil (Tera's mother and cofounder of the program)
identify hospitals with quality infant bereavement programs
to guarantee the boxes go for the purpose for which they were
created. The people who run these programs are fiercely dedicated
to helping families through the devastation of losing a child.
We currently have a waiting list for hospitals to join the program.
But if you know of a hospital which has an infant bereavement
program in place and would be interested in receiving boxes,
please use our waiting list form
to send us the details for this hospital.
Memory Box artists do not have to be members of the mailing
list, to participate in the program. To participate in the program,
read the information on the guidelines
page even if you only create one box, you will be helping!
We have many teachers who donate a class time to get their students
to paint for us, etc. as a onetime event. We are grateful for
every box we can get to a hospital!
Once you have completed a box (or group of boxes - often it
is the same price to mail 3 boxes as one), please register
with our online system (will open in a new window), please
check out our tutorial for more
details.
Please activate your account and send the required email to
our administration in order to allow us to fully install your
account. Once you have received an email from our administration
confirming the installation of your account and you have boxes
to send, please log
into the system each time new boxes are ready to be mailed
and notify us by filling in the blanks in the form.
You DO NOT SEND THE BOXES TO US. We never physically handle
a box for the program. We are simply facilitators so that artists
and hospitals can connect directly with one another to meet
the need in the most efficient way possible.
Hospitals interested in being added to our current waiting list
should contact us through our waiting
list form.
Information about Infant Bereavement and
Loss
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